Never Give Up! Never Give Up!

STEP 1 - Get number.

STEP 2: Pay at the till.

STEP 3: Take the receipt and exchange for Voucher.

I bought a Day ticket for the Reading Festival. The line up on the day includes:

• Kings of Leon
• Keiser Chiefs
• Placebo
• Fall Out Boy
• Deftones
• Funeral for a Friend

Queuing took me 4ish hours but it is sooooo worthy! While on queue(I queued alone :( ), I learnt loads about the British Culture.

• They love their music.
• They will booze wherever possible. In front of me was a group of teenagers and they were boozing while on a slow queue.
• They will do very stupid things when they are drunk. How about peeing on the bus stop with hundreds of people with you?
• Parents totally support their kids on what they want. Behind me was a mother-daughter tandem and on their phone was their dad trying to book a ticket to the Festival. Yes, I was eavesdropping. I can't help but eavesdrop when I am alone. Action Justified! :P

This is one ticked off on my bucket list! :)

Fact:

Online tickets were sold in minutes. Pre-Festival tickets were sold last year and you can't buy tickets on the same day.

Lesson Learnt:

If you want something, never give up until you have tried it! It feels so good after buying the ticket!

WAKE UP CALL!

I went to the Filo weekly practice cause I've got nothing else to do. When I was in a relationship, I used to spend all my weekends with my ex. So obviously I have to fill my schedule up now that we aren't together. Anyway, since I've been spending loads of times with my family and friends, I noticed that I've been gaining weight as well! The weekly buffet, the endless dinners and the chocolates took its toll on my body! I measured my waist up and it's gone up to 26.5 inches! I even tried my sister's playsuit and I couldn't fit in. I was planning to wear the playsuit in Italy! :( I am not over reacting here people. I am 5 feet 2 inches with a small frame body. I can't have 26.5 inches waist, 50 kgs weight! I am on crash diet at the moment. My trip to Italy is in 6 days.

The Good, The Bad and The Unlucky

THE GOOD

Today is the start of my term break so we had the afternoon off. My friend's Italian boyfriend came all the way from London to meet us. I live in Reading, it is 25 minutes away from Paddington. Contrary to the weather forecast, it was dry today so we decided to go to Pret a Manger for coffee where my friend Donna works. Everything went well, I am back to my talkative self almost doing a monologue. For some reason, I get along well with my friends' boyfriend and exes when I can't even have a good time with people from the office. Note to self: Need to open up more. :P When Kuya Noel arrived, we went to Nando's. For three consecutive days, I had dinner there. I am growing a wing. Hahaha! When we all finished eating lunch, I got a call from the office. Thinking it was my mum, I answered it...

THE BAD

It was someone else from the office. I GOT LAID OFF! Yes, you are reading it right, I only have a week left in the office. I must admit, it didn't depressed me as I think it would. I was more relieved to leave work. Everyone knows that I hate working there. I am more concerned about money at this point. Were would I get the income to support myself - ei. travelling and shopping. I have savings, don't get me wrong but I plan to leave the company in 3 months time, not now. I NEED THE MONEY.

THE UNLUCKY

You wouldn't believe how unlucky the first quarter is for us. It is true when they say, "when it rains, it pours". It is pouring for me! Let me outline everything:

• First my boyfriend of almost 2 years dump me.
• My dad got laid of from his job. He is jobless still.
• I got into an argument with my college tutor. Now, I am hearing rumours that he is leaving work.
• My mum's account was hacked and she had £1500 taken from her account which the bank hasn't returned yet.
• I got laid off.
• My family decided that my sister will take a gap year cause we coulnd't send her to Uni. The tuition fee alone will cost us £10K! Were on earth will we get that much money?

Despite all this, I still believe that God wouldn't give us anything that we can't handle. Please pray for me and my family. Thanks all! :)

Thank You Google!

Yesterday, I googled - "being friends with ex". I don't know how to handle the ex situation. It's been 7ish years since I got my heart broken and back then, it wasn't that easy though I was just in my teens. After few hits, I came across the website, gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com. Everything that they say about the website is very helpful. I recommend it to my broken hearted friends, you know who you are girls. :P

Aside from my family and friends, I have 3 wonderful men in my life at the moment:

1. Luke - my good friend. He knew everything about the break-up. He listened, he makes sure I am okay, he gets in touch where ever he is. He is actually in Thailand but he sends me office chat and texts me everyday. He even called me as soon as he gets to Thailand. He took me out on meals and he went to cinema with me. He saw me broke down few times and assured me that everything is gonna be okay.

2. Incredible Sulk - name not to be mentioned. :P He talks to me every single day. Our recent conversations start with, "Hi, How are you?". He says,"I am good. But most importantly, How are you?". It makes me feel good. He writes on my wall, chats with me and texts me. I broke down last week and he was there. With tears streaming down my face and lack of tissue paper, he sent me a chat and asked me if I needed something to wipe my tears. I said, yes please and he brought loads of tissue to my desk. After getting myself back together, he took me for a walk to clear my head. He is a nice man.

3. Mr. Bright - ah, he is like the boy of me. He's been to this kind of relationship before. He checks on me everyday and ask how I was. He is very positive that I will recover and I will find someone who will sweep me off my feet. He gave me endless advices and he listens to my drama endlessly. Week after week he guides me on what I should do and never judging me.

Thanks everyone for helping me! You know who you are! :)

Mummy's Day

Me, Dear Mummy and Dear Sister

Feliciano Girls

The mummies, Tita Jer and Mummy Dearest

It's Mummy's Day!

This special day took 2 weeks to prepare. Both Dear Mummy and Tita Jer didn't have any idea about this celebration. After mass, we all proceed to all you can eat Thai and Sushi Restaurant. Buffet is kinda like a staple on my diet. :-P We then went to our friends place for Choir Practice. I am not part of the choir,FYI, I am only friends with them, kinda like a groupie in a Rock Band. Hahaha! The party started with songs, followed by video messages edited by Joseph, it's amazing to watch how stupid we can get, me and my dear sister sang Mama by the Spice Girls, totally unprepared and Tita Jer's son Gio composed a song for his mummy. We had over flowing food at the end. I am not complaining although I noticed that I am filing on LB's now. :(

Next week photo shoot. The UK weather is getting better and better. :)

:(

Lately, I've been playing these songs over and over:

Chasing Pavements by Adele

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere,Or would it be a waste?

Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere...

Glory Box by Portishead

Give me a reason to love you

Give me a reason to be ee, a woman

Its all I wanna be is all woman

It could be sweet by Portishead

You dont get something for nothing,

turn now Mmmm gotta try a little harder

It could be sweet

Warwick Avenue by Duffy

I'm leaving you for the last time baby

You think you're loving,

But you don't love me

I've been confusedOutta my mind lately,

You think you're loving,But I want to be free,

babyYou've hurt me.

back to square one

I finally ended things with my ex boyfriend. We don't speak much now, I stopped telling him updates about my life and family. I deleted his numbers, closed my skype account and deleted him from my Sametime(office chat). He did the same. He is coming back in 3 weeks and we had plans of meeting each other for a weekend to hangout. Initially I said YES but closer to the date I realise few things:

1. He just wants to spend time with me. Spending time is different from getting back together. Hanging out means hanging out.

2. I need to protect my feelings. Yes, I am having sleepless nights again. I am thinking about him again. I am feeling depressed again. This is all part of the process of getting over him. It was very very tough BUT I need to stop seeing him cause I know, he will open the flood gates of my feelings again and I will end up hurting again and again. I need to break the cycle.

3. I am not ready to see him. I thought I was strong, I was over him. I haven't cried in 2 months and yet I found myself crying again. Breaking down in front of my PC at 2PM in the afternoon at work isn't a good sign.

4. I have to be away from him. The more I see him, the harder getting over him will be. It is hard as it is, I don't want to make it harder on myself. I don't need to prolong the pain, extend the agony.

Still, there are things that I should be thankful for: I have friends who listens to me constantly and never got tired of my drama. For 3 months, they listen, never complained a bit. I have friends from the office giving me a quid fine whenever I speak about him and another, shrink on the go. He told me to text him instead of texting my ex. I have boy friends who convince me that I deserve someone better and girl friends who said the same. I have a good company. Friends fill my weekends. Although Luke left for Thailand, he chats with me everyday and sends me text every night. He helped me take my mind off my ex. I have friends back home whom I text or email and are ready to help and listen, anytime. I have a very supportive family and friends.

I've decided not to meet up with him.

I am still getting over him and I am back to square one...

do ALL and experience ALL

DO all and EXPERIENCE all is my new motto. I used to be fun before I moved here in the UK. I used to try out a lot of things for experience. I used to say YES to life. Now I am just a boring old lady who rarely go out, get drunk. I need to get my life back and in doing so, I promise to:

• Travel more
• Try out new things (fishing, camping)
• Go out more with people, meet people
• Do sports and stop being lazy
• Do things that will make me happy
• Study another language. I noticed that I am interested in learning new languages and for a reason I can't explain, my mind absorbs random foreign words

I realise that I NEED TO BE HAPPY.

WICKED is Wicked!

Last night, me and 11 other filos went to the Apollo Victoria to watch Wicked. It got the best production set I've seen so far, the set is just magical, the costumes - colourful and detailed, I especially like Emerald City, the characters are fun to watch and the lines are clever. There is not a boring moment in the Musical Play. A must see!

I still have shows lined up:

Mamma Mia

Woman in Black

Shows that I've seen:

Lion King

Phantom of the Opera

Chicago

Avenue Q

Les Miserables

Stomp

Spamalot

Wicked

If I have my way, I'd rather see a Ballet show. I regret not going to Giselle. :( Hope someone takes me on my Bday.

F*ck My Life - Response from College

I am totally paranoid on going back to my college. I had this crazy idea that my classmates are gonna grill me for reporting my tutor. As soon as I got home, I saw a mail from my college and from the tutor. My tutor wrote:

"I am writing to apologise to you for what took place this morning. My purpose was to attract your attention at a time when I was teaching a large group pf students and I had no intention of causing you any hurt or harm.

I am very sorry that you have suffered hurt and ask you to please accept my most sincere apology."

I have moved on from this incident, hope my classmates have moved on too.

yummy coloured peeps

Purple. Red. Teal. Peep Toe Flats from Primark for £8 each. :)

I am totally addicted to Coloured Flats at the moment. PERIOD.

F*ck My Life

Have you heard of the website f*ck my life? :P My friend Luke introduced me to the website and whenever I'm feeling down, I go there to cheer me up. A bit twisted I admit but my entry today is F*ck My Life Worthy!

I went to my college early and motivated. I hate accounting, everyone knows that for a fact but today I feel like I need to finish revising for CAT 2 and take the test ASAP. My friend Darlene transfered to my class. She sat next to me today. We were discussing accounting in Tagalog when the tutor told us off. Understandable cause he doesn't know how to speak my language. After 30 minutes, he told us that he is gonna discuss CAT 3 and asked if there is anyone who wants to opt out. I raised my hand and told him that I am doing CAT 2 at the moment. I was reading the book by 30 minutes or so then. 10 minutes in his lecture, I opened Free Cell and started playing and 5 minutes after playing he grabbed my shoulder blades so hard to the point that I started to cry. Now, I am not a cry baby, I don't show emotions to people that I am not emotionally involved/closed with. I was crying for a good 20 minutes when he asked me why I was crying. I said cause it hurts so much. He said he was sorry but I don't want to accept it. I continued with my studies but couldn't stop myself from crying. He apologised 1 more time. I said, I go to college not expecting to get hurt by anyone. I also told him that I am considering on reporting him to the office. He said that I should go ahead and he will go there after the lecture anyway. My friend Darlene left and went to the loo. I followed cause I couldn't take the situation anymore. She and I discussed the sequence of events and one of my classmates from the class went to the loo and told me that I should just forgive him(the tutor) and forget everything. My gut feeling tells me that what he did isn't right so I went ahead and reported the incident to the Administrator, without crying this time. My friend Darlene backed up my story and the Administrator is very sorry for the incident. I said, I don't want him to get fired or anything, I just want them to know that something like this happened. Me and Darlene went back to class and everyone walked out as soon as we got there except for the Blonde Black Girl. She said that I should have not reported David, my tutor, cause without him we wouldn't be there. She also said that whatever happened in the four corners of the room should have stayed there. I told her that it is my right. What he did is very unacceptable. By this time, the secretary asked me to go to the office again. Allan, the administrator, asked me what I wanted to do with the situation. I told him that I wanted to be transfered to another class which he agreed to. He then suggested that I should go home and rest for now. I don't what else happened there. All I know is that, the whole class hates me for doing the right thing, people are writing petition on whatever happened and the tutor told another tutor that I was lazy. FML!