I've attended 2 family wakes this year both on my mum's side of the family. My first was last holy week when my grandma's cousin died and today when I went to my aunt's. Mama Elen was my mum's older sister. She was 71 when she died. I didn't know about her death until I called my cousin Lorraine at work and she asked me if I'm coming to Mama Elen's wake. Work is making me an outsider in the real world. It makes me question if working 6 times a week is still worth it. Sacrficing time with away from family and not getting paid enough. To be honest, I didn't realise that it's gonna be this hard when I took this job. I have big dreams for myself. I wanna work in a massive company, get experience in my chosen field. Everyday I question myself why I signed the contract. Regrets but I have to wear my big ladies pants and grow up.
I didn't know how Mama Elen died. I forgot to ask but I know that she is in a better place now with God. She chose to be cremated. I didn't realise how painful seeing someone being cremated. Imagine putting a pizza dough in an oven but instead of dough, you are putting a human. So painful to watch. :(
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